The Equation to Creating Happiness

Introduction

Happiness = Reality - Expectations

If reality exceeds your expectations, you’ll be happy. If it doesn’t, you’ll be unhappy. Simple, right?

The problem is, many of us set unrealistic expectations—for ourselves and others—that range from ambitious to downright delusional.

It’s great to have goals and challenge yourself. But when the reality of your efforts and circumstances falls short of those sky-high expectations, disappointment sets in.

The bigger the gap between expectation and reality, the harder the fall. And this cycle of unmet expectations creates a normalized problem: unhappiness.

We’ve convinced ourselves that every day needs to be extraordinary, that we need to be the main character in our own story, and that every moment should be “story-worthy.”

We also expect too much from others, treating them as either allies in our grand narrative or obstacles to cut out.

Social media amplifies this, encouraging us to curate a facade of an extraordinary life, even when our days are, in reality, perfectly normal.

You Are Not Special

As of writing this, over 8 billion people are living on Earth—and you are one of them.

Social media makes it easy to portray our lives as a never-ending adventure, as if we’re the stars of our own TV show and everyone else is just a supporting character.

But when life inevitably reminds us that we’re not the center of the universe, we feel dissatisfied—not just with ourselves, but with our entire existence.

We chase the extraordinary, believing it should be the norm, when in reality, most of life is ordinary. And that’s okay.

Life is boring most of the time, but that doesn’t mean something’s wrong.

The pressure to be exceptional is tyrannical. Social media feeds us the idea that everyone should have the body of a fitness influencer, the face of a supermodel, and the intellect of a rocket scientist.

But the truth is, most of us are average—and that’s perfectly fine.

The stigma around leading an ordinary life has sparked existential crises in many. We’ve become so hostile toward normalcy that we question our worth to the point of paralysis.

Ironically, the truly exceptional people in specific fields became so because they were relentlessly passionate about improving in that area. They didn’t compare themselves to others; they competed with themselves.

World-class athletes train for decades to reach their peak, yet we compare our day one to their year thirty. It’s an unfair comparison, and it only fuels our dissatisfaction.

What’s Wrong with Ordinary?

Scroll through social media, and you’ll find countless stories of 20-year-old CEOs, high school nerds landing jobs at NASA, or neighbors winning the lottery.

With information so readily available, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. We start asking ourselves, “What about me?”

Humans are unique in our ability to conceptualize the future. This allows us to set goals and plan ahead, but it also means we beat ourselves up when we fall short.

We obsess over not being as successful as the NASA-bound nerd or as lucky as the lottery winner. But here’s the thing: life is mostly average, and that’s where its beauty lies.

The ordinary moments—Christmas dinner with family, spontaneous outings with friends, or even doing laundry while listening to your favorite band—are the ones that make up life.

These moments may not seem extraordinary, but they’re meaningful in their own way.

So what if you haven’t won a Nobel Prize or founded a tech startup by 25? You’ve got your own dreams, and they don’t come with a deadline.

We get so caught up in comparing ourselves to others that we forget to run our own race. Instead of chasing someone else’s goalposts, focus on your own journey.

Embrace the present and strive to improve your reality. Don’t lower your expectations—just align them with what’s achievable.

Find joy in the process, and let it overshadow the anxiety of unmet expectations.

You’re Average, But So Is Life

Not every day needs to be a blockbuster movie.

Most of your life will be mundane, and that’s perfectly normal. The sooner we accept this, the sooner we can free ourselves from the pressure to constantly stand out.

Without the stress of trying to be perfect, you might find that you’re doing better than you thought.

You’ll start to appreciate the small joys—reading a book, catching up with an old friend, or even just enjoying a quiet evening. These moments may seem ordinary, but they’re the building blocks of a meaningful life.

Going to the bookstore, reading a novel, or grabbing dinner with a friend won’t make headlines.

They’re not “rockstar” moments, and they won’t win you any awards. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the ordinary moments are what truly matter.

Conclusion

Life is mostly average, and that’s okay. The pressure to be extraordinary is exhausting and unnecessary. By accepting that you’re just as ordinary as everyone else, you can free yourself from the weight of unrealistic expectations.

Instead of chasing an idealized version of life, embrace the present. Find joy in the small, everyday moments.

After all, it’s the ordinary moments that make up the extraordinary tapestry of life.

So, take a deep breath, let go of the need to be perfect, and remember: You’re average, but so is life—and that’s what makes it beautiful.