My Rules to Turn Critics Into Assets
No matter how much I wish I could tune out criticism, I’ve come to accept that I have no control over the feedback I receive.
This realization was one of the first things I had to grapple with when I decided to share my work with the world.
I needed to learn how to accept criticism—not as a personal attack, but as an opportunity for growth.
Criticism isn’t limited to work or creative projects, though.
It’s everywhere—in our friendships, workplaces, social circles, and even families. While we can’t control who criticizes us or what they say, we can control how we respond.
Over time, I’ve developed two rules to help me navigate criticism and opposing ideas with grace.
Rule 1: Learn to Love the Process, Not the Spotlight
In high school, I was never the star of the show. I was the one behind the scenes—writing scripts, adjusting sound levels, and offering creative input.
At first, I didn’t see the value in this role.
But over time, I realized that being backstage gave me a deeper appreciation for the creative process itself, not just the applause from the audience.
This lesson has stayed with me, especially as I’ve ventured into writing, creating videos, and other creative pursuits.
Here’s the truth I’ve come to embrace: What happens backstage is far more important than what happens onstage.
Most of us never see the human effort behind the things we consume.
Think about it: when you read an article, do you consider the hours of research, editing, and revising that went into it?
When you watch a Broadway performance, do you think about the countless rehearsals the dancers endured? Or when you hear a keynote speech, do you imagine the endless drafts the speaker wrote and rewrote?
The truth is, people rarely think about the process. They’re focused on the end result.
And honestly, that’s okay.
As Steven Pressfield once said, “It’s not that people are mean or cruel, they’re just busy.”
The stage is all they see, and what happens there is all they’ll love or hate.
But here’s the thing: You don’t need the spotlight to appreciate your work—or yourself.
The effort you put in behind the scenes is what makes the final product meaningful. It’s what fuels your growth and keeps you moving forward, even when the applause fades.
This principle applies to everyday life, too.
No one truly knows what’s going on in your life except you. Learning to be comfortable with yourself and your journey is a superpower.
While the world may only see the version of you on stage, it’s your love for the process—the unseen effort—that keeps you going.
As Brené Brown wisely said, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”
So, don’t let a few critics dim your light. Keep the show going because you love what you do, not because you’re seeking validation.
Rule 2: Be Curious, But Stay Critical
When faced with opposing ideas or criticism, our first instinct is often defensiveness. We dismiss differing opinions as misguided or wrong, especially in today’s world, where we can curate the information we consume.
A simple “unfollow” or “block” button allows us to shut out anything that challenges our views.
But when it comes to criticism, we need to do the opposite.
Instead of dismissing it outright, we should approach it with curiosity—while still maintaining a critical eye.
Here’s a story that illustrates this perfectly:
In the 1980s, McDonald’s faced mounting pressure to adopt more sustainable practices, particularly around packaging and waste.
Bob Langert, then VP of Sustainability, led the charge by partnering with the Environmental Defense Fund (EDF)—a group that, at the time, was more likely to sue McDonald’s than work with them.
To bridge the gap, Bob invited the EDF scientists to experience McDonald’s operations firsthand. They flipped burgers, wrapped sandwiches, and saw the fast-paced reality of running a restaurant.
Initially, the EDF believed renewable packaging was the solution, but after seeing how it would slow down service, they agreed it wasn’t feasible.
Through this collaboration, the EDF suggested switching to the now-iconic brown bags made from recycled materials.
Not only were these bags more sustainable, but they were also sturdier and more cost-effective. This win-win solution wouldn’t have been possible if McDonald’s had dismissed the EDF’s criticism outright.
The key takeaway? Be curious about your critics. Ask yourself:
How can I find common ground?
Could I be wrong?
By approaching criticism with an open mind, you might discover opportunities for growth or innovation.
At the same time, stay critical.
Evaluate whether the feedback is grounded in reality and aligns with your goals.
Conclusion
Criticism is inevitable. No matter who you are or what you do, you’ll encounter people with different opinions. But instead of seeing critics as adversaries, view them as potential collaborators.
The story of McDonald’s and the EDF shows that even seemingly incompatible groups can find common ground and create something remarkable.
Above all, learn to love the process—the unseen effort that goes into your work. It’s easy to get caught up in the applause or the criticism, but what truly matters is the journey.
Celebrate the person behind the scenes, the one who puts in the hard work to make everything possible.
So, the next time you face criticism, remember these two rules: Love the process, and stay curious but critical. You might just find that your critics become your greatest allies.
