Your Search for Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

Introduction

You will always be unhappy.

Sounds like a depressing start, right?

But here’s the truth: since the moment we were born, we’ve been conditioned to believe that happiness lies just beyond the next achievement, possession, or milestone.

At 10 years old, it was the newest Nintendo DS. At 20, it was the perfect partner.

The pattern is always the same: “If I have this, then I’ll be happy.”

In today’s consumer-driven world, this mindset has become an addiction. We sacrifice meaningful experiences in pursuit of the next thing that promises happiness.

Yet, at the end of the day, we’re left wondering: Where does it all end?

Every time we reach a goal, the finish line seems to move further away. And who’s moving it?

Not fate or circumstance—it’s us.

Where It Ends

Let me be blunt: it doesn’t.

The pursuit of happiness is a never-ending cycle. Think about it: when you finally got that thing you thought would make you happy, did the feeling last?

If you said yes, you’re lying to yourself. If you said no, congratulations—you’ve just identified the hedonic treadmill.

The hedonic treadmill is like a medieval torture device, keeping us endlessly chasing happiness. It’s the equivalent of a horse chasing a carrot dangling from a stick tied to its back.

No matter how fast we run, the carrot remains just out of reach.

Research supports this.

A study by Brickman and Campbell in the 1970s compared two groups: lottery winners and accident victims left paralyzed.

Both groups initially experienced extreme emotions—joy for the lottery winners and despair for the accident victims. But over time, their happiness levels evened out, returning to a neutral baseline.

This phenomenon shows that happiness is fleeting.

We keep chasing a finish line that keeps moving, not because the goal isn’t real, but because our threshold for happiness constantly adjusts.

Like a sitcom character forever searching for “the one,” we’re trapped in a cycle of chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist.

Easy Addiction

The hedonic treadmill isn’t a new challenge, but modern technology has made it easier than ever to feed our addiction to temporary happiness.

With a few clicks, you can buy anything online, find a date on a dating app, or binge endless content on social media. Algorithms keep feeding us new content, ensuring we never run out of distractions.

But here’s the paradox: the more we chase happiness, the more we realize it’s not where we thought it would be.

We move from one temporary high to the next, always disappointed, always searching for the next thing. As Albert Einstein famously said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

Enough Is a Choice

There’s a story about Joseph Heller, the author of Catch-22, that perfectly illustrates this point.

At a party hosted by a wealthy hedge fund manager, Heller’s friend, Kurt Vonnegut, remarked that the host had likely made more money in a day than Heller’s bestselling novel ever would.

Heller’s response? “Yes, but I have something he will never have—enough.”

Life is a series of choices. We often feel like we’re trapped on the hedonic treadmill, forced to keep running.

But the truth is, we can step off anytime we choose.

We can stop scrolling, stop chasing, and stop sacrificing meaningful moments for fleeting dopamine hits.

Ask yourself: How many more hours? How much more money? How many more relationships? How much are you willing to sacrifice before you finally say, enough?

Conclusion

Happiness is not a destination.

It’s not something you can find, buy, or achieve. The pursuit of happiness, ironically, is what keeps us perpetually unhappy.

We’re dissatisfied not because we lack happiness, but because we refuse to recognize that we already have enough.

Instead of hoping things will get better, maybe it’s time to choose to be better.

Instead of thinking, “I don’t have enough,” maybe it’s time to say, “I have enough.”

The hedonic treadmill is a choice.

And the moment you decide to step off is the moment you truly find contentment. So, take a deep breath, look around, and say those liberating words: “I have enough.”